I am sitting in Mon General's ICU waiting room, waiting on word of my brother's condition. I have not seen him since he was brought up from the ER about an hour ago. This, I realize, is not a long period of time.
Logically, I know John needs to sleep. He was brought to the hospital this morning when a coworker, calling to see why he wasn't at work, was alarmed by his state of confusion and called the ambulance. When the ambulance arrived the paramedics found John's blood sugar levels were over 630, resulting in confusion and difficulty breathing. My mom woke up to see her son being transported away by ambulance. She was scarred, because she had never seen John look that bad before.
I have seen him look worse. Two years ago when he was in the ER I literally thought he was dying. His skin was mottled, and his breathing was ragged. I didn't think he was going to make it, but he pulled through. Today I raced to the hospital and was relieved at what I saw.
This must be very hard on my mom, waiting at home for information. Here in the waiting room I am surrounded by whole family groups anguishing over the fate of their loved ones. I sit alone, knowing that support is a phone call away. But of course I know we all have business to go about, and sitting here will do John no good.
But I continue to sit here in the event that there is something I can do, that if John needs help, someone will be here. I'm not helping him, but I'm here.
I suppose that's something.
I may have seen John look worse, but in fact I don't think he's been worse. Previously when he was DKA, he would respond and be able to talk around 1:00. It's now 4:10, and I still have not elicited more than gutteral responses. He is sleeping soundly now, with somewhat regular respiration. The blood gases are slowly going up, and the blood sugar is slowly going down. I think he is only vaguely aware that I am here and in fact may not be horribly cognizant that he is in the Intensive Care Unit. His blood sugar is down to 365 now. He continues to sleep through the draws.
Christina called and said she would stay with Grandma tonight after work. When I called Mom she said she was still shaking, so naturally I was concerned.
I think I have exhausted all my available interest in web resources. Now that I have aggregators set up, I no longer spend hours searching for information; it all appears at my fingertips My eyes are getting tired of looking at this screen, and my butt is tired of sitting in this chair, but every so often John wakes up and asks to be swabbed with water. That I can oblige.